Do Jeeps give masc4masc energy, or are they a gay stereotype? Mike shares with Kyle why his Jeep Wrangler is the love of his life.
In this episode: News- 1:46 || Main Topic (Jeeps)- 12:54 || Gayest & Straightest- 58:25
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
INTRO MUSIC [MIKE JOHNSON SINGING]
When you know that you are queer but your favorite drink is beer, that’s Gayish. You can bottom without stopping but you can’t stand going shopping, that’s Gayish. Oh, Gayish. You’re probably Gayish. Oh life’s just too short for narrow stereotypes. Oh, it’s Gayish. We’re all so Gayish. It’s Gayish with Mike and Kyle.
MIKE JOHNSON
Hello, everyone in the podcast universe. This is Gayish.
KYLE GETZ
The podcast that has never cast even a single pod.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] We haven’t? We- I thought-
KYLE GETZ
I don’t think so.
MIKE JOHNSON
What are we doing?
KYLE GETZ
Are these pods that we’re casting? Have we been casting pods this whole time?
MIKE JOHNSON
I mean, it’s a metaphorical digital casting.
KYLE GETZ
Mmm…
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, I don’t know. I’m Mike Johnson.
KYLE GETZ
I’m Kyle Getz.
MIKE JOHNSON
And we’re here to bridge the gap between sexuality and actuality. And, today… meep, meep.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Is that what your Jeep sounds like?!
MIKE JOHNSON
That’s the Road Runner. [both chuckle]
KYLE GETZ
Today, Mike’s gonna try to hit the Road Runner in his Jeep. Uh, we’re talking about Jeeps!
MIKE JOHNSON
We’re gonna talk about Jeeps. You know you love ‘em, so do I.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] I don’t know.
MIKE JOHNSON
Here we go.
KYLE GETZ
Here we go.
MIKE JOHNSON
“Masc for masc” energy, [chuckles] right out of the gate.
KYLE GETZ
Or is it? Find out today.
MIKE JOHNSON
[gasps] Stay tuned. Um, but first… If you tried to buy tickets for the Houston live show and it told you that it was in the past or something, if it wouldn’t let you buy tickets, just please try again, because I fucked a thing up. It’s better now.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, you should be able to buy tickets for the show right now and right up until the event start date. So give it a shot, if it messed up for you.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah, yeah. You can DM me and be like “Hey, you dumb fucker.” [Kyle chuckles] Um… and now the news?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
[News segment intro plays, sung by MIKE JOHNSON]
Shut your mouth hole it’s time for your ear holes, news, news, news.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay, news the first. So… Hey, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
Hey, Mike.
MIKE JOHNSON
Do you know who Martina Navratilova is?
KYLE GETZ
She’s that tennis player.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. She’s also a known lesbian.
KYLE GETZ
“Known lesbian.” [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
And she’s also, apparently, kind of a TERF, [Kyle gasps] which I did not know and I’m very sad to learn that because… I don’t know. Just- It’s never- I’m always surprised when there’re evil lesbians, you know?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. I mean, it’s a reminder that any one of us can be shitty.
MIKE JOHNSON
Well, that’s true.
KYLE GETZ
Like, we’re not immune to… I don’t know. But it’s, like, “LGBT”. The T’s right in the fucking name. Like- I don’t know.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Well, anyway, lesbian tennis legend Martina Navratilova, on Monday, blasted actor Daniel Radcliffe, [chuckles] of Harry Potter fame, for his public support of transgender women on X.
KYLE GETZ
I wanna blast him!
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Blast me, Harry Potter. [both laugh] I love that- I love that everywhere seems to always say “X, formerly known as ‘Twitter’.”
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, let’s keep deadnaming Twitter as long as we can keep it funny.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
So, Harry Potter wrote an essay for the Trevor Project. Uh, he wrote, quote, “Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people,” to which Martina Navratilova replied – she retweeted – “Just be quiet Daniel. Be quiet.”
KYLE GETZ
I mean… no, right? [chuckles] Like, no, right?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then a user, @Rab420, said “Seems he’s defending trans women. Why be quiet?” and she responded, quote, “Because females need their sex based spaces, that means no biological males, however they might identify. That includes sports and the locker rooms. Thank you.” Again with the penises, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
Again with penises.
MIKE JOHNSON
Just- I-
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Good lord. And this phrase. Like, it’s hard to talk about these things, like, even if you’re on the right side of history. Like, biological sex is a thing, and it’s a thing that especially, like, doctors have to know about. And, if you use the phrase “biological sex”, or “biological male”, or “biological female” it’s a dog whistle and you’re probably a dickbag fuckface asshole.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. And it’s a phrase that makes you sound like you’re smart because it has a word that contains “ology” in it, but you actually are basing it on your 3rd grade science knowledge instead of actual- Biological sex is way more complex than just male/female.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Aaabsolutely. And, apparently, she is part of a group of dickbag fuckface assholes called the WSPWG, the Women’s Sports Policy Working Group, and they’re trying to, quote, “preserve girls’ and women’s competitive sports for ‘biological females’.”
KYLE GETZ
Eughh. Eh.
MIKE JOHNSON
And- And apparently she, like, gives a lot of money to them, and is on their board, and is just, like, apparently she’s a terrible person and that’s really upsetting. Also, she fought Megan Rapinoe over basically the same thing. She voiced her support for trans female athletes and said that she would have no problem competing against a trans woman on the US Women’s National Team. And, uh, Martina Navratilova was a bitch about that. So she’s a bitch. She’s a bitch and I hate her, Kyle. No. No, she’s- She’s- She’s fine. No, she’s not fine. I don’t know. You’re not supposed to call women “bitches” but sometimes they deserve it, [Kyle chuckles] and I call you “bitch” all the time.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, but that- I feel warm and loving when you call me a bitch.
MIKE JOHNSON
[laughs] Aww. I’ll call you a bitch more, if that-
KYLE GETZ
Aww!
MIKE JOHNSON
-if that solidifies our friendship.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Finally. We’ve needed it for this long, Mike.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Um, yeah. Sorry, everybody. Cross that lesbian off your list.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
And then, of course, Daniel Radcliffe is particularly open about his support for trans women because his former boss, so to speak, that wrote those books, is, like, the head TERFiest TERF of all TERFs. So…
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Yeah. Which is great. It’s great to have people on the cast of Harry Potter speaking out against her.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah, ‘cause there’s a real fear of guilt by association, right? Like-
KYLE GETZ
Oh, for sure!
MIKE JOHNSON
Just because you were in Harry Potter doesn’t mean that you agree with that bitch. See? Another person. At least I stopped saying the C word, Kyle. Okay… [Kyle chuckles] uh, news the second?
KYLE GETZ
Great.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay. So, first of all, do you know who Rishi Sunak is?
KYLE GETZ
That guy that’s running for something for the UK.
MIKE JOHNSON
Well, he is currently the prime minister…
KYLE GETZ
That’s what I meant.
MIKE JOHNSON
…of the UK, and he needs to be on the list for the Dickbag Fuckface Asshole Awards.
KYLE GETZ
Oohhh.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, we need to- Okay, Derek, you have a homework assignment, which is: in time for January 1st, we should, like, keep track of anybody that we say is a dickbag fuckface asshole nominee, because I legit want to actually do it. And, like, we need to- We need to make up an award of some kind. Like, I would love to have a listener contest where everybody, like, submits their designs for what the trophy should be and then we should make those trophies and send them to the winners. [Kyle chuckles] And- Okay, back to this dickbag fuckface asshole. Uh, rece-
KYLE GETZ
No, I love this. We’re gonna go all-in on this Dickbag Fuckface Asshole Awards.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Yes.
KYLE GETZ
I didn’t know we- Mailing it to their- It’s gotta be like a turd emoji or something, you know? [Mike chuckles] Like, it’s gotta be like a thumbs down or, you know, somethin’ that’s like a middle finger.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Maybe it could be- Maybe it could be, like, three symbols: one is like a bag of penises; and one can be, like, somebody getting, you know, throat fucked; and then one can be a butthole. It’s dickbag, fuckface, assholes.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. I love that!
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay, great. [both chuckle]
KYLE GETZ
This is gonna be- And we’re voting on it. You know when everyone has their end-of-year lists? This will be like our end-of-year kinda list.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, back to this dickbag fuckface asshole.
KYLE GETZ
Okay, great.
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, he was interviewed at the conference of the meeting of the European Political Community on Thursday, in Grenada, Spain and he was asked by a reporter, quote, “Do you in any way regret saying ‘a man is a man’ and a ‘woman is a woman’?” and he responded, “No, I think a man is a man and a woman is a woman, I think most people watching this program will think that that’s common sense and that’s just a fact of biology.” [sighs] Okay.
KYLE GETZ
There’s that word again.
MIKE JOHNSON
There’s that word again. All you have to do is say “ology” and you sound smart.
KYLE GETZ
Mm-hm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay, so, this is- This lets us then talk about something else. Conservative- The Conservative Party is trying to pass a ban keeping trans women out of female-only hospitals in the UK.
KYLE GETZ
Eugh.
MIKE JOHNSON
That- Yeah. Steve Barclay, who’s the health secretary and would be a candidate for dickbag fuckface asshole if he mattered, [Kyle chuckles] um, but uh, he said, quote, “trans women have no place in women’s wards”, like the ward of the hospital. And, so then I thought this is fucking great: then there was a report published by TransLucent and they looked at 102 freedom of information requests to the National Health Service and they discovered that, since 2021, the number of complaints about trans women being in women wards of the hospital was exactly zero. [Kyle chuckles] There were no complaints, none, zilch. They are solving a problem that does not exist…
KYLE GETZ
Yeah
MIKE JOHNSON
…because being an anti-trans, bigoted, fuckface asshole dickbag gets you points to other dickbag fuckface assholes.
KYLE GETZ
It’s so frustrating, the creation of problems that don’t exist. The same thing happened with the bathroom bills. That was like… This is not a problem. No one- No trans woman is sneaking into women’s restrooms and being a predator. Like, it’s just not happening.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep.
KYLE GETZ
You’re creating this monster that is not real. You’re the monster.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Yep, yep. Be the monster you wanna see in the world… or something. I don’t know.
KYLE GETZ
Monster Energy! Go to monsterenergy.com/gayish [Mike chuckles] to get your 10% off coupon for a free Monster Energy. Wait…
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god, Kyle, do you think if we send people to random companies’ websites “/gayish” that eventually somebody would pay us for it? [chuckles] ‘Cause they’re like “Why did we get this spike in traffic on this random URL? Find them.”
KYLE GETZ
Yes.
MIKE JOHNSON
“Pay them money.” [laughs]
KYLE GETZ
Yes. Monster Energy is the perfect combination with Gayish, I think, because we- As we call our fans, the “little monsters”.
MIKE JOHNSON
Mhm. Mhm! [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
We’ve always done that.
MIKE JOHNSON
[sighs] Every- Every- Everyday.
KYLE GETZ
Everyday.
MIKE JOHNSON
The whole time.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Always. Okay, news the last.
KYLE GETZ
Great.
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, it’s a trifecta of trans news today, Kyle, but this one is good.
KYLE GETZ
Ooo!
MIKE JOHNSON
So, Olivia Hill was sworn in Monday evening as a member of the Metropolitan Council of Nashville and Davidson County and she is the first out trans elected official in the state of Tennessee.
KYLE GETZ
Wow!
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, she was elected September 14th as an at-large member of the council, so that means that she represents the entire city. And, uh, she joins a council that has, for the first time, become majority-women. She said at a ceremony, quote, “Representation is everything. I’ve been approached by so many moms, and dads, and teachers and leaders that have thanked me for running because now a lot of the trans community has someone to see.” And uh, just- She said “I ran this race as a qualified human, I didn’t run this race as a trans woman, I didn’t run this race as the first trans woman or as a woman at all. I only ran this race to showcase my experience and for a right to sit at the table.” But she’s been a huge advocate for the queer community, especially in Nashville. She’s a Nashville native. She was in the US Navy from 1986-1995 and she transitioned after she got out of the military. She went to Desert Storm. She just is, like, a crazy badass, and now is an elected official in Tennessee.
KYLE GETZ
Wow. That’s awesome!
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah! There you go. That’s the news!
KYLE GETZ
That’s the news! Speaking of badass bitches, let’s talk about our Patreon members. Thank you to the following new Patreon member: Wis- Fuck.
MIKE JOHNSON
“Wisfuck”? [laughs]
KYLE GETZ
His name is Wes! I messed up “Wes”! [both laugh] Wes… Cossey, probably. [both chuckle] God dammit. Three letters, Wes, I’m sorry. You and I both thought that I could get through your first name unscathed, but herem we are. Thank you, Wes Cossey, probably, for your support. If you want to have me fuck up your name, get episodes a day early, join our Patreon. We record, on Patreon, Happy Hours. Go to patreon.com/gayishpodcast and sign up today.
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. Do it.
KYLE GETZ
Do you wanna talk about Jeeps?
MIKE JOHNSON
Meep, meep. …Yes, I do. [both chuckle]
KYLE GETZ
Again, I don’t think that’s what a Jeep sounds like.
MIKE JOHNSON
Y’know.
KYLE GETZ
Why are we talking about Jeeps, Mike?
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay, we’re talking about Jeeps because I contend that it is- Well, first, I own one. Whatever.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm. You own a Jeep… what?
MIKE JOHNSON
Wrangler.
KYLE GETZ
Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Unlimited 2005. Had it a long time. I will talk about it way too much throughout the course of this episode. But also, legit, I think I’ve had so many people tell me that my car is gay, that there’s something about that vehicle that me being gay checks out to them. It is a gay stereotype, and I’m fascinated by it because I totally want to unpack it because, like, gays don’t really care about cars that much. And, like, anyway, there’s just- There’s a whole bunch of stuff to unpack, I think.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, absolutely. And that was really surprising to me. I was- In my mind, a Jeep was supposed to be a straight stereotype. Like, I thought it was a straight thing, and then the more I looked at it and, like, looked at memes and found things that people have posted, that may not be the case. So, okay, I’m gonna start with some gayta.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeaaah! Let’s do some gayta.
KYLE GETZ
Loose… Loose quotes around the word “gayta”. So loose, so quotes, because it’s just- [Mike chuckles] You know. It’s- This is very unscientific. Um, so I read an article on jezebel.com that referred to a poll that Car Talk did. I don’t know what Car Talk is or why we care about them.
MIKE JOHNSON
“Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers”, on National Public Radio. They’re fuckin’ hilarious. I think one of them’s dead now, though.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. Okay. [both chuckle] That’s your rundown. That’s been your Car Talk talk. That has been Car Talk Talk.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay, for sure- Now I need to know, because, like, I haven’t thought about them in a really long time. I used to listen to that show.
KYLE GETZ
Really!?
MIKE JOHNSON
And it was like- Yeah. Pre-internet days it would come on NPR. I forget where I was but I would- Like, while I was commuting it would come on a station and-
KYLE GETZ
Is this because you were trying to pretend to be straight, or just you actually liked it?
MIKE JOHNSON
No, I actually liked it.
KYLE GETZ
Hm.
MIKE JOHNSON
And that’s what’s so- so- so great about it. Because they- Yes, they talked about cars. Like, people would phone in and be like “My car keeps going ‘kachunk, kachunk, kachunk’ when I put it in reverse,” or whatever, and then they would, like, walk through it. But they might be just as likely to talk about, like, whale migration as part of their answer. Like, they were just the most ADD, bringin’ any ole random fuckin’ terrible segue they wanted to, stream of consciousness, and they were brothers and they were hilarious. Like, they fill a similar niche in my, like, heart as like the McElroy brothers.
KYLE GETZ
Ahh.
MIKE JOHNSON
It was great. Anyway, sorry. Enough about Car Talk.
KYLE GETZ
No, that’s okay. Now I know who I’m referring to. They did a poll of their… lesbian and gay listeners, but apparently also straight and other people voted as well, so, you know, whatever. Heavy on the gay and lesbians, presumably, but they got 1000s of responses about “What are the gayest and most lesbian cars?”
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. Subarus. We did a whole episode; episode, like, 7 or something.
KYLE GETZ
Episo- Early days, right? Okay, well-
MIKE JOHNSON
Season 1 for sure.
KYLE GETZ
For lesbian cars, number 5 is the Honda CR-V.
MIKE JOHNSON
Sure, okay.
KYLE GETZ
Number 4 is the Ford F-150.
MIKE JOHNSON
Wow! Okay. That’s a big-ass truck.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, that’s a big-ass truck.
KYLE GETZ
Uh, number 3 is… Jeep Wrangler.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god, am I a lesbian?
KYLE GETZ
Mmmaybe. Mmmmaybe, baby.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay. Mhm.
KYLE GETZ
Number 2 is a Subaru Forester, number 1 is a Subaru Outback. [both chuckle]
MIKE JOHNSON
Great.
KYLE GETZ
So, you were spot-on with a Subarus.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, some- Some stereotypes are just true.
KYLE GETZ
And intentionally- I believe, on that episode, we talked about how they intentionally marketed to the LGBT community. So it’s not just, like, a coincidence that lesbians like Subarus. It’s, like, a thing that they went after.
MIKE JOHNSON
By the way, my fraternity brother, Troy, just pulled in in his Jeep. You can see, out through the window there.
KYLE GETZ
Hey, fraternity brother Troy. He can’t hear me.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. No, he can’t. Where were we? Oh yeah, Subarus. Lesbians.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
I- Yeah, you’re right. In that episode, I think, we talked about the fact that, like, they went after lesbians as a market and did a bunch of, like, kind of subversive advertising to garner a lesbian following, and it fuckin’ worked.
KYLE GETZ
Yep. Yep, absolutely. Now the top five gay cars. I don’t know cars, so I didn’t have any guesses. Do you have any guesses about what’s on this list?
MIKE JOHNSON
Um… okay, I think- I think, uh, a MINI Cooper? You’re a faggot.
KYLE GETZ
[laughs] Ah, that’s a good one.
MIKE JOHNSON
Or a PT Cruiser, but they don’t- I don’t- I don’t think they even make those anymore.
KYLE GETZ
There are some non-manufactured-anymore vehicles on this list. Okay, um number 5 is a Mazda Miata.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay. Yeah. That’s like- like a- like a fancy wannabe car. [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
It’s a real little car too.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
Um, number 4 is… a Jeep Wrangler. [four successive gasps]
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god, Kyle, am I gay?
KYLE GETZ
So, you’re not only lesbian, you’re gay too.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Okay, great.
KYLE GETZ
Um, number 3 is a BMW 3 Series.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh.
KYLE GETZ
Number 2 is a V-Dub Bug.
MIKE JOHNSON
I was gonna say “Volkswagen,” yeah.
KYLE GETZ
And number 1 is a V-Dub Jetta, so we got double V-Dub on the top of the list.
MIKE JOHNSON
Wooow. Okay. My ex-wife and I had a Passat. Maybe- Like, maybe that’s why I’m gay.
KYLE GETZ
That’s probably it. You- [chuckles] I know you were straight for a while, but I do not think you Passat. …Wait. You did not Passat. Nah, never mind. That wasn’t-
MIKE JOHNSON
[laughs] Hey, you went for it. You took the swing.
KYLE GETZ
Ehhhh, yeah. …I shouldn’t have. So, basically what I’m seeing is that lesbian cars are big cars, SUVs, trucks, and gay cars are the little ones.
MIKE JOHNSON
Mhm. Mhm, mhm.
KYLE GETZ
Like, we just have- It’s this really basic stereotype that we have about cars, that, if you’re a dude, you’re supposed to drive a big car, and so, if you drive a big car you’re a lesbian.
MIKE JOHNSON
And, Jeep Wrangler is on both lists.
KYLE GETZ
But Jeep Wrangler’s the one that’s on both lists and doesn’t fit the- Like, it’s not a little tiny- little tiny baby little car like the other ones.
MIKE JOHNSON
But also, as SUVs go, it’s not massive, it’s not enormous, it’s not a fuckin’ Escalade.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah! Yeah. So there is something gay about Jeeps, at least based on this nonscientific poll from Car Talk. I was exploring a little bit more about, like, you know, why do we presume that Jeep is gay or Wranglers specifically are gay? I found a clip of Top Gear. Do you know about Top Gear?
MIKE JOHNSON
Top- Like, the magazine?
KYLE GETZ
No, it’s a British TV show where they talk about cars. I’ve watched- A long time ago I’ve watched full episodes because my straight friend wanted to, Augustia. [Mike chuckles] And they- I don’t know, they just talk about- They do car stuff. I don’t know. Anyway, there is an episode wh-
MIKE JOHNSON
Did you kinda like it though? Is it like when my dad says that he’s “forced” to watch Dancing with the Stars because it’s what his wife wants to watch but you can tell he kinda actually secretly likes it?
KYLE GETZ
No, this is not me in high school watching, like, One Tree Hill pretending I hated it. It’s- This- I really didn’t care for it.
MIKE JOHNSON
Alright.
KYLE GETZ
It was fine. It was fine. It was acceptable content to pass the day. Uh, but they had an episode where the lead guy, whose name I don’t know and it doesn’t matter, said “Isn’t this a very popular car with the gay community?” So, they even, on this really big car show, talk about the Jeep Wrangler being big within the gay community. There was a post on flyertalk.com. One of the first things that you find when you search for “gay Jeep” is one of the- a post on FlyerTalk that said “How Did the Jeep Wrangler Become a Gay Icon?” and it’s just a, you know, forum with people posting. No one posts anything interesting or helpful, but… There’s somethin’ gay about Jeep Wranglers that I was unaware of before looking into this.
MIKE JOHNSON
Hm. Hm. Hm! Any theories?
KYLE GETZ
Not yet.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay.
KYLE GETZ
Let’s keep talking and see if one emerges.
MIKE JOHNSON
I have a couple theories, I just don’t know whether to talk about them now or sprinkle them throughout, you know?
KYLE GETZ
Ooh, I don’t know.
MIKE JOHNSON
Mm. Well, uh, I’m gonna talk to you about the history of Jeeps, of course.
KYLE GETZ
Sure.
MIKE JOHNSON
Do you know when they were invented, and why?
KYLE GETZ
1976.
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. That’s… very incorrect, but um-
KYLE GETZ
[laughs] They were created for the war? Like, World War II or somethin’? 1930?
MIKE JOHNSON
They were created for World War II, Yeah. So, uh, it was 1940 and it became really clear that the United States was going to have to enter the European theatre of World War II, and so the army reached out and asked a whole bunch of people to create prototypes for a four-wheel drive reconnaissance car, and only two companies responded: the American Bantam Car Company; and Willys–Overland. Which… it all comes back to Willys, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
It’s always about the willies. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Um, so, basically, they’re like “We need something that matches, like, this general, like, specification,” these two companies came back and said “Hey, here you go,” but the military said “We need- You only have 49 days to make it happen.” So, there was this dude, Karl Probst, who was a designer from Detroit, and he basically put together the first Jeep using, like, a fuck ton of parts from other cars that were already made. So- [chuckles] It’s like a zombie. It’s a Frankenstein’s monster, the Jeep is, because it was like the engine from a four-wheel drivetrain component from a company called “Spicer”, and the hood came from like a Chevy or something. It just- It literally- In order to get it done on the timeframe that they were looking for, this dude just, like, started putting parts together and hoping it would work. [Kyle chuckles] So then the army was like “Okay, yeah. Sure. Cool. Great,” did it, bought a whole bunch of them, shipped them overseas, and it turned into kind of a lot. Every Army Infantry Regiment got 145- or, an average of 145, Jeeps. So they were just deployed all over the place. And, you know, we’ve talked several times about, like, the gay history of the military and the- [chuckles] It’s not PC, but it happens, of, like, you send dudes to a place, around a bunch of dudes, and gay shit starts happening.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Situational homosexuality. It’s, like, a real phenomenon.
MIKE JOHNSON
Right. Yeah. It’s the same thing, like, with prison. A lot of prison sex is situational…
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
…homosexuality.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Anyway, they were so successful that, like, other countries started trying to make their own versions of the Jeep. Then they reached the consumer market. They started to be available, like just to go down to the dealership and buy one, in 1943. Sorry, the trademark was 1943. In 1945, that’s when they had the first Jeep branded product that launched and was available. So, they got made by Willys–Overland Motors until the 60s, then there was a company called “Kaiser” that got part of the process. That part doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. But, by 1970, all of those other companies had either folded or sold their investments in Jeeps, and American Motors Company [TN: American Motors Corporation] made them until 1987.
KYLE GETZ
That sounds like the name of something you would call in, like, a TV show where you can’t use any trademarks. “This is American Motors. American made. Go America.”
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Yep. And my family had an Eagle, which, that was an AMC car. And then Wayne, in Wayne’s World, drives and AMC Pacer, I think.
KYLE GETZ
Oh.
MIKE JOHNSON
And I forget when that company went under, but they, like, super went under, I think. Yeah, eventually Chrysler ended up with the rights to most of the manufacturing, and then Chrysler got bought out by Daimler, and then, now… I have no idea who owns them now, because it just changed again in, like, 2021 or something.
KYLE GETZ
It’s owned by… Stellantis.
MIKE JOHNSON
Sure.
KYLE GETZ
I looked that up.
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. Good. Good, good. Stellantis.
KYLE GETZ
Stellantis, yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh yeah, ‘cause- I forgot. Fiat bought Chrysler, and then- but, in 2021, Stellantis got it and I know nothing about them. It’s also new… stuff. Anyway, okay, the word “jeep”, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm.
MIKE JOHNSON
I don’t know how to- I don’t know how to transition this effectively. I don’t have a good segue here.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
But, basically, one of the theories about the word “jeep” comes from Popeye, like Popeye the Sailor Man.
KYLE GETZ
What?!
MIKE JOHNSON
Like… [chuckles] yeah. So, apparently, Popeye had a- So, Popeye the Sailor Man first appeared in 1929, and was- You know, he’s the guy that grows muscles when he eats spinach. And, um, I mean, really, between that and being in the Navy, he’s not not gay. Except, I guess he’s- He’s banging Olive Oyl… but she’s- I don’t know. Anyway, so, Popeye was a comic book and would come out however often comic books come out. Monthly? Quarterly? Something like that. But, in the March 16th, 1936, Thimble Theatre comic strip, Popeye introduced the character of Eugene the Jeep.
KYLE GETZ
And “jeep” wasn’t used at that time? Like, “Jeep” wasn’t a car at that time.
MIKE JOHNSON
Well, it wasn’t a car yet. They wouldn’t be invented until 1940, uh, 1941. But uh, Popeye asks Professor Brainstine “[What exactly is] a Jeep?” and his response is, quote, “A Jeep is an animal living in a three dimensional world—in this case our world—but really belonging to a fourth dimensional world. Here’s what happened. A number of Jeep life cells were somehow forced through the dimensional barrier into our world. They combined at a favorable time with free life cells of the African Hooey Hound. The electrical vibrations of the Hooey Hound cell and the foreign cell were the same. They were kindred cells. In fact, all things are, to some extent, relative, whether they be of this or some other world, now you see. The extremely favorable conditions of germination in Africa caused a fusion of these life cells. So the uniting of kindred cells caused a transmutation. The result, a mysterious strange animal.” It’s like- It looks like a dog with a giant dildo for a nose, but also maybe kind of a cat bear.
KYLE GETZ
Like an anteater?
MIKE JOHNSON
Ummm… Yeah, there’s some anteater vibes there.
KYLE GETZ
Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. And, like, a dick for a tail. It’s just the weirdest-looking thing and, apparently, can, like- It can only say the word “jeep”.
KYLE GETZ
Hm!
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, that’s all- So, he has to, like, gesticulate and say “Jeep! Jeep!”
KYLE GETZ
Mmm. Is this an “I am Groot,” situation?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly right. Exactly right. And so, like, to help Popeye solve crimes or whatever the fuck Popeye does, the Jeep would, like, help. But he could also teleport. He could disappear from one place and reappear in another place. He could walk through and on walls or ceilings. It’s- I had no i- Okay. I’m not a Popeye fan. [Kyle chuckles] Like, it’s not like I’ve watched it a whole bunch. I liked the Robin Williams movie when I was a kid, but that’s just because- I don’t know. It was, like, animated and bizarre. I had no idea there was any, like, science fiction element to all of it at all, except for, like, apparently spinach makes you jacked.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Yeah, me either. That description sounds like someone trying to be a smart person explaining something that’s not actually that complex. Like…
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yeah. Like- Like somebody writing, like, the technical jargon, the technobabble for a Star Trek show.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, none of those words mean anything. [both chuckle] Like, what are you doing? Yeah, so Eugene the Jeep, so that’s one theory on where the name came from. Uh, it is almost certainly incorrect. [Kyle chuckles] A, uh- Another- Well, because apparently then, when the Jeep – like, the vehicle the Jeep – was being introduced to the military, uh, so the, um urban legend goes… Is it “urban” if you’re on the beaches of Normandy? I don’t know. [Kyle chuckles] Anyway… that it seemed like a multidimensional creature that could get into and out of really tough spaces and help solve complex problems, and so one of the soldiers said “That thing’s like Eugene the Jeep,” and then it became “Jeep” and, like, “Jeep” is how it was named. That’s- None of that is right. [Kyle laughs] But it’s one of those things that, like, sounds plausible and gets repeated enough that it starts to take on a life of its own.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
The other one… Do you know who PJ Ermey [TN: R. Lee Ermey] is?
KYLE GETZ
I do not. He is- You almost certainly have seen this guy. He’s the guy that, like, “Where ya from, private Pyle?” and he says “Texas, sir!” and he says “Texas?! Hell, there’s nothing in Texas but steers and queers, and you ain’t got any horns on ya so that narrows it down a bit.” Like, he’s just a really problematic dude in the characters that he played, but he became famous for being a archetype of a drill instructor. And so then he ended up being on, like, the History Channel as, like, the crazy guy with the hat that would do- like, talk about history, like battles and shit. Do you know who I’m talking about?
KYLE GETZ
Absolutely not. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Right. It’s fine. He’s dead now.
KYLE GETZ
Okay. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Um, but he said, on one of those shows, that it stood for “GP”. And R. Lee Ermey did a television series called “Mail Call” and he said that “jeep” was because somebody was slurred “GP”, meaning “General Purpose” and, uh, that that’s why; somebody was just saying “GP” over again, “GP, GP, GP,” and that turned into “jeep”. Also almost certainly wrong, [Kyle chuckles] but also plausible. And that’s because they never called the Jeep a “General Purpose” vehicle and it’s highly unlikely that the average Jeep-driving GI would have been familiar with that as the designation. And, uh, GPW actually meant “G” for “Government use”, “P” for the wheelbase, and “W” because it had a Willys-Overland designed engine. Anyway, R. Lee Ermey also apparently, like, floats the “Eugene the Jeep” Popeye name thing. But the real answer is just super boring, [Kyle chuckles] that apparently all kinds of vehicles got called “jeep”. In fact, “jeep carrier” is the name of a kind of boat that the Navy has for moving shit around, and you could put all kinds of things on it, not just Jeeps… capital J “Jeep” like the car, because a “jeep” is any number of different vehicles. So, I don’t know. I’m gonna stop talking now, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Well, should I tell you about whether Jeep is gay-friendly?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yes. Are they? Do I have to sell mine? Don’t tell me if I have to sell mine. I’m gonna be real sad.
KYLE GETZ
You have the HRC sticker on the back of yours, so that makes up for any wrongdoing, right?
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. Excellent. [Kyle chuckles] If there was still, like, a gap there, I would put more stickers on it.
KYLE GETZ
Just- [chuckles] Just cover it in HRC stickers, and that way everyone knows you’re super gay. I first found the Facebook page “Gay Jeep Club of America” which had 1000 followers, which is, you know, decent amount. There was an image that said “THERE IS NO OTHER FEELING THAT COMPARES TO THAT MOMENT YOU BECOME A JEEP OWNER… IT IS THEN YOU REALIZE THAT THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME,” [Mike chuckles] so that’s the kind of people we’re dealing with here.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god. You know… that saying is so stupid.
KYLE GETZ
Is that- You’ve heard that before?
MIKE JOHNSON
Things will never be the same. Right now I’m gonna finish this Topo Chico and things will never be the same, Kyle.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] I like yours better. We should start a Topo Chico fan page and post that to it, [Mike chuckles] “After I finish this fourth Topo Chico, things will never be the same.” There’s one that says- a image that says “EQUIPPED WITH MILLENIAL ANTI-THEFT DEVICE”, and then has an image of the manual transmission.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeaaah. Yeah, yeah. It’s true.
KYLE GETZ
Which… I do not know how to drive a manual transmission. So, for Patreon…
MIKE JOHNSON
Y’all, a very special Patreon this week: I’m going to make Kyle drive my Jeep. It’s a 6-speed, manual.
KYLE GETZ
We’ll see if- I’m gonna go ahead and throw out: we’ll see if it works out with the audio and the video. Hopefully it does, but fingers crossed.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
And, there was also- The most recent image was from Pride 2021. They shared an image of a Jeep with two men holding hands in front of it, and it said “It’s always better together. #Pride”.
MIKE JOHNSON
Aww!
KYLE GETZ
So Jeep, at a minimum, shared that image in 2021 that I found in this Facebook group. So, I looked in a little bit more. 2021, there was a press release about Motor City Pride parade, in Detroit of course, and there was a- they were announcing that a specially wrapped 2021 Jeep Wrangler 4xe would serve as the grand marshal vehicle [chuckles] of the Motor City Pride parade.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay. Great. I love that.
KYLE GETZ
There were apparently multiple other Jeeps in the Pride parade. There was another Jeep Wrangler, because one wasn’t enough. There was a Jeep Gladiator, a Jeep Grand Cherokee L. Uh, in the press release, Jim Morrison, who’s the vice president of Jeep brand North America, said, quote, “Over its 80-year history, the Jeep brand has led the way in freedom and authenticity, and we are proud to lead this year’s parade with a specially wrapped Jeep Wrangler 4xe to show our continued longstanding support for Motor City Pride and the LGBTQ community.”
MIKE JOHNSON
That’s their- uh, their hybrid one.
KYLE GETZ
Oh! Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. It’s, like, partially electric. Go ahead.
KYLE GETZ
That’s cool. I- Man, I need to do better at feigning interest in car stuff. [feignedly] Oh, that’s interesting, Mike. [Mike laughs] Do go on.
MIKE JOHNSON
No, it’s fine.
KYLE GETZ
Okay. [chuckles] Uh, apparently they do have an LGBT employee resource group, which was a recent Patreon bonus episode that we did.
MIKE JOHNSON
It sure was.
KYLE GETZ
…And it is called “Prism”. It is one of 11 ERGs that they have at the company. In 2022 there was a display at Times Square, during NYC Pride. They gave out complimentary Jeep branded rainbow themed tote bags and rubber ducks.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Great. Like, that was a journey, because at first I was like “They gave out Jeeps?” [both laugh]
KYLE GETZ
That would be real support. Jeep, step your shit up and give us all Jeeps.
MIKE JOHNSON
Now if you don’t, it’s a hate crime. [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
Exactly. Rubber ducks though? Why?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
I don’t get that. But anyway, I looked at HRC, the Corporate Equality Index, and… Stellantis – this is why I knew that Stellantis is the owner, they own Jeep, Dodge, and Chrysler – they scored, out of a score of 100 possible points, they scored what, Mike?
MIKE JOHNSON
100!
KYLE GETZ
95.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh. That’s still pretty good.
KYLE GETZ
That’s still pretty good, yep. They lost 5 points in the “benefits” section. I don’t think they ha- I think they didn’t have equal protection or care for domestic partnership for same-sex spouses versus opposite-gender spouses. Anyway, I looked up other major car manufacturers. Ford scored a 90. V-Dub, who we said was pretty gay, scored a 90. Toyota scored 100. Subaru, the lesbian car of choice, scored 100. So, they’re all- This is part of my frustration with the Corporate Equality Index, is, like, they’re all kinda in the same zone of 90-100, so is it really that they’re all pretty equal, or is there actually one that’s way better than the others? This seems to indicate there’s not one standout, but I don’t know. So, at least based on their support – Jeep’s support of Pride – historically and the fact that they got a 95 on the Corporate Equality Index, I’m gonna say they are gay-friendly. So, it is acceptable that-
MIKE JOHNSON
Yes! Oh, God. Thank God. Thank the Lord.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. You can keep your Jeep. [both chuckle]
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay. Phew.
KYLE GETZ
Yep.
MIKE JOHNSON
I’ve been holding my breath for that long and now I have to pee. [Kyle chuckles] I’m gonna talk about my Jeep for a little bit and then, uh, the dude that is the designer of the Jeep the year that I was- that I had it.
KYLE GETZ
Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
So, from- Do you remember ever saying that, like, I wanted my Jeep because it was like the last year that they looked like that?
KYLE GETZ
Oh, kind of. I sometimes vaguely listen to you.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Okay. Well… So, [chuckles] from 1996-2006, Jeeps had a specific look and those Jeeps were TJs, and my Jeep is, like, at the end of the TJ range, it’s 2005. And the dude that designed it is named Michael Santoro and he is from San Diego, California. And he’s now- He teaches car design now, but he also founded and oversees a company that makes Apple accessories.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. No way.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, cases and shit like that.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
But anyway, he is the one that came up with the TJ redesign of Jeeps in 1996. So, he said “Landing a-” Quote, “Landing a job as a car designer with Chrysler at 21 was unheard of. As the new kid on the team, [I] was able to bring a young and fresh perspective to everything [I] worked on for the carmaker.” “I knew that this was a great opportunity and a dream job.” “You have a better chance of playing in the NFL than you do becoming a professional car designer in the United States, so I was excited to get a chance.” But uh, the stuff that he did is really interesting because, um, the look of a Jeep has always, like, returned back to a recognizable standard, right? Like, a Ford Taurus today doesn’t look anything like a Ford Taurus from 10 years ago. Or even, like, a couple of years, sometimes, is all it takes for a car to look nothing like its former selves. But pretty much all eras of Jeeps are at least reminiscent of each other, if not full on straight-ass copies, right?
KYLE GETZ
Right, right. You can always recognize a Jeep when you see a Jeep.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. And he brought back a lot of stuff that had sort of, um… not “fallen out of favor”, but that Jeep had emphasized less in the design. They used to do, like, square headlights, and he returned it to round headlights. And, uh, the grille in the front, the very distinctive grille, he stylized that and then incorporated that into a lot more of the designs. And he just is a really, really interesting dude. And one thing that he did that I find fascinating is Easter eggs.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] What?
MIKE JOHNSON
And I don’t know if my Jeep has any easter eggs but, apparently, he hid little logos and sometimes animal creatures-
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] What?
MIKE JOHNSON
-in the metal of the Jeep designs. So, if I look up… let’s see… “Jeep Easter eggs”… Most Jeeps have Easter eggs, and sometimes it’s as simple as, like, a little, like, just a little logo that looks like a Jeep. But, um, apparently some Jeeps have flip-flops. Like, if you look carefully you can find a picture of flip-flops in the in the metal.
KYLE GETZ
Are flip-flops associated with Jeeps?
MIKE JOHNSON
I don’t know. Well, and not all of these make sense. Like, one is a T. rex chasing a Jeep.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] That’s funny.
MIKE JOHNSON
There’s a map of Moab, that’s the- It’s… what, a national park or something, in Utah? Uh, just a splatter of paint… One is a lizard, one is an American flag-shaped vent, one of them is a spider that says “Ciao,” next to the gas cap. [Kyle chuckles] And they hide in weird places. So, um, like a Jeep Grand Cherokee, it’ll often be in-between the cupholders. Uh, and Jeep Wranglers, there’s a hidden area under the cargo that has them. And I- When I get home I’m gonna, like, look at my Jeep and see if I can find any of these things in my Jeep. But uh, this dude, Michael Santoro, is the first one to start hiding little cute things in the metal of these, of Jeeps. Also, he has never publicly spoken about his family life whatsoever. I could not find anything that said, like, “Oh, he has a wife and kids,” or, like, nothing about his sexuality at all, which doesn’t mean anything but he is a designer, and teaches design, and came up with this wacky-ass idea to have Italian-speaking spiders in the gas caps of Jeeps. [Kyle chuckles] So I’m just thinking, like, an above- above 50% chance that the dude that designed my Jeep is gay.
KYLE GETZ
Oh yeah? We- Us gays love our Italian spiders.
MIKE JOHNSON
Right. Yeah. [both chuckle] I love, love, love the idea of, like, “I’m just gonna hide shit in, like, plain sight in these things that people buy.” And, um… I just love it. I just love it. Okay.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
There is actually a tie in though, that I think is worth talking about.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
This morning, I was- Or, was it yesterday? Doesn’t matter. Time has no meaning. Uh, I was talking to a fraternity brother who also- Troy, who also drives a Jeep, about, like, “What is it that makes a Jeep gay?” And one of the theories that we sort of hashed over is that Jeep, because of this consistency of appearance, a consistency of look, it is associated with an identity of sorts, and that gay people like to feel included, they like to feel like they’re part of something. You know, I do the stupid Jeep Wrangler wave.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, if I ever see another Jeep Wrangler, I do the two finger wave off of my steering wheel. And I feel a little bit like a car racist but, at the same time, it’s nice to have this, like, little thing that we Jeep Wrangler drivers do to acknowledge each other. There’s some, like, sort of- Like, there’s an identity there. There’s a- There’s a- There’s a community of sorts, I guess, and that that’s appealing to gay people, I think, is an interesting thing to discuss.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. I guess, like, especially if you don’t have the community that you should have, which is your family…
MIKE JOHNSON
Right.
KYLE GETZ
…then finding another community is really important, and often we do that within the gay community but there are other places that you can find community. You can find community in the sports team that everyone is excited about for your city, or you can find community – who knew? – by Jeep ownership. It’s- it makes sense that humans like to be included and feel like part of something.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Yep, absolutely. And there is though, I think, also, because of the military past of the vehicle, potentially an argument can be made that there’s some toxic masculinity stuff going on, right? That, like, “What’s more- What’s more manly and straight than the military?” Turns out, a whole bunch of stuff. But I don’t think that, like- [chuckles] But the military still gets credit for, I think, being a sort of butch or macho persona.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
And so there’s a, I think… I don’t know, maybe overcompensation? I don’t know. I love my Jeep though, and I didn’t feel like I was doing any of that, but maybe I was.
KYLE GETZ
There’s- Well, it’s interesting that, like, coincidentally, you have a Jeep Wrangler. It seems like that just kind of pops up with a lot of gay people, and you didn’t do it on purpose but if enough people do it accidentally then it kind of becomes a thing.
MIKE JOHNSON
Mhm. Mhm.
KYLE GETZ
When you were talking about the masc people, I was thinking about, like, the BDSM, the leather community, who are- you know, accentuate some masculine imagery as part of their interest. Like, there’s- There is some gay pockets that do accentuate masculine things, not in a toxic way, it’s just what they’re into and what kind of community they’re a part of. So, I don’t know. There is- There can be gayness to masculinity.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Yep. Yeah. And also, it- Like, it’s a great vehicle to go four by four.
KYLE GETZ
Hm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, it can go places. It doesn’t get stuck very often. And, like, if I just wanna drive up a mountain I can. [Kyle chuckles] And I think that there’s- There’s something, like, weirdly masculine about that.
KYLE GETZ
Hm. Should I tell you about what I found on Reddit?
MIKE JOHNSON
Ooh, yeah. Okay.
KYLE GETZ
Okay. There are a couple people that are, like, asking this similar question. One person posted “What’s the correlation between Jeeps and homosexuals?” [chuckles] and the description was “I got my JK…” which… is a Jeep Wrangler? Is that what a JK is? Anyway, it’s a Jeep. Um, “…a few years back and was excited about it. I [met] up with one … friend one night and during…”
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh, this sounds like Grindr. Okay, go ahead.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] No! No, no, no. “I [met] up with one … friend one night and during our conversation I tell him that I … got a Jeep. Next thing [he] asks me is ‘What are you gay?’” [Mike chuckles] “I have no problem with gay people. I have a couple of really good gay friends. Just curious about it.” So, there were questions like this and posts like this that connected- that are, like, people trying to explore the connection between Jeeps and gayness. Another post I found said, um, there was- To this board game subreddit, someone posted… Apparently there was a gay Monopoly, like a version of Monopoly that was called “Gay Monopoly”. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh, nice! Okay.
KYLE GETZ
Which is hilarious. I really wanna get a copy of Gay Monopoly and see what they-
MIKE JOHNSON
Yes.
KYLE GETZ
-what was Boardwalk. It was, like, “Dickwalk”, [Mike chuckles] and St. Charles Place was just “Charles’ Place” or something. I don’t know. [Mike chuckles] But they- Someone cross-posted that to Jeep and said- pointed out that Jeep-
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Sorry.
KYLE GETZ
What?
MIKE JOHNSON
All of the properties are “The Eagle”. [both laugh]
KYLE GETZ
Someone cross-posted that to the Jeep subreddit because, apparently, Jeep was a figurine in Gay Monopoly.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh, that’s awesome.
KYLE GETZ
And some of the explanations for why that was the case, in the comments section, one said “Gay guys like their [tops open]”.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Sure, yeah. Great.
KYLE GETZ
Um, another one said “Jeeps [are actually] popular with LGBT people the way Subarus are. LGBT are more outdoorsy and will do things with their dogs since more of them don’t have kids compared to straight couples.”
MIKE JOHNSON
Mm. Mm.
KYLE GETZ
“But specifically for Jeep, gay guys have more discretionary income to spend on image, which a Jeep would fall into.”
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
How do you feel about that explanation?
MIKE JOHNSON
Well, I- Uh… I think it’s plausible that there’s a- It- [sighs] It, like, might be true in aggregate, and we need to remember that, like, just being gay doesn’t mean that you suddenly have a whole bunch of money to spend. Like, that’s-
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
That’s, um- That’s an unfortunate thing.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
And, on the whole, white gay men especially do have a bunch of discretionary income. And, Jeeps are pretty terrible as, like, a family car. Like, there’s a lot of inconvenient things about driving a Jeep, actually.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Like, uh, it’s not something that you could load a bunch of kids and groceries into. I mean, you could, but there are other vehicles that are better at that. So yeah, I don’t know, it sounds plausible.
KYLE GETZ
The last post that I’ll mention is: “I need the gayest car possible on … $50k budget”. [Mike chuckles] And, in the description, it said “I’m trying to find a real dick magnet of a car. Something that, when you drive it by, every schlong, dong, and winky twitches because they know the fella’ inside [me] will really gape them good if given the chance.”
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god.
KYLE GETZ
[laughs] Ah, whoever this is, I love them and wish I was best friends with them. [Mike chuckles] Um, the most upvoted answer was to get the Fiat 500 Gucci Edition, which… it had- Like, I looked it up and it has, like, a kind of decal around it that is like the Gucci logo. So that seems pretty gay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Gaaaaay.
KYLE GETZ
Yep. But the second most upvoted response, with 500 upvotes, was “Jeep Wrangler with the doors off.”
MIKE JOHNSON
Mhm.
KYLE GETZ
And someone explained that answer, that it’s- They said it was “Masculine, but … also the most homoerotic vehicle on the road. You want to stretch some holes? Get a Jeep Wrangler and take the doors off. It shows you’re ready to rumble at anytime and you don’t mind getting a little dirty if it means [you’re] having fun.”
MIKE JOHNSON
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh my god.
KYLE GETZ
And then they added “Edit: for extra spice, doors off, and you drive shirtless (or naked if you’re brave)”.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Yep.
KYLE GETZ
Is there something to having the, like, doors off the sides, and getting head? [laughs]
MIKE JOHNSON
Getting head? Huh.
KYLE GETZ
‘Cause it’s easy car BJs if you don’t have, like, the sides on your car.
MIKE JOHNSON
I don’t think there’s- Okay, there’s no such thing as an easy car BJ. Like, they’re just- [Kyle chuckles] Road head is inconvenient for everyone involved. So, I’ll start with that. [Kyle chuckles] And, I do really enjoy… even though I’ve never taken off the doors with a wrench, I could.
KYLE GETZ
Hm.
MIKE JOHNSON
And there’s a certain amount of, like, “That’s fuckin’ cool.”
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
It also means I don’t have power locks, so, you know, whatever. Or I can lay the windshield down or, like, take the top off and put the cloth top on instead. And, uh, I am into all of that. I- [sighs] I don’t know where it comes from but, like, the, like, shirtless bros in a topless Jeep… like, that’s a vibe. That’s a thing.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. For sure.
MIKE JOHNSON
Where does that come from? Because I don’t think it’s Queer as Folk, right? Like, people like to say “Oh, Brian Kinney drove a Jeep in the original Queers as Folk,” or “…the United States version of the original Queer as Folk.” [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I don’t think he started- I think they reflected something that was already going on in culture.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
A lot of times, when it gets to the point where it’s in media, it’s something that’s already being discussed or already kind of known, they’re just pulling from that kind of image. So I think they just mirrored back what was already happening, and I don’t- It seems like- Maybe it’s not just associated with gay people in general, but this kind of masculine masc gay dude that is maybe a little bit shitty, like the Brian Kinney type. Like, maybe that’s the kind of gay guy this’s associated with. Maybe it’s a car that gay guys feel masculine driving because of… it has these masc vibes, and that’s why it’s not, you know, the tiny cars that I mentioned earlier of the gay ones. It’s like they can… I don’t know, feel a little bit, like, cool and straight bro by driving it.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
KYLE GETZ
The last comment I’ll read, on the guy that wanted the gayest possible car, said “I’m a straight man but I love everything about this post. Wishing you the best in your quest for car and cock”.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] That’s so supportive.
KYLE GETZ
So supportive! I wish this person the best in car and cock too.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. I wish all of us the best in car and cock.
KYLE GETZ
All of us, [chuckles] yeah. Exac- And all the good night.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
Um, when you bought your car, you were… in the closet.
MIKE JOHNSON
No, I was not.
KYLE GETZ
Oh, you weren’t?
MIKE JOHNSON
No. So, that Jeep was my 30th birthday present to myself.
KYLE GETZ
Ohhhh.
MIKE JOHNSON
And I- My birthday is November 14th, and I was determined to come out of the closet before the age of 30. So, uh, I told One Ball Dan towards the end of October. My now-ex-wife was planning a 30th birthday party thing for me, and that’s when I pulled the parachute cord and called Dan and I was like… “This is the phone call that you said I could make if I needed to. Come pick me up,” and he did. So then I started living in his place. I needed a vehicle and I’d always wanted a Jeep, found this one listed, and went out and got it. And here it is almost 15 years later. I’m turning 45 next month, um, and I’ve had the same rig this whole time.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
I came out of the closet, left my ex-wife, and bought that Jeep, like, all the same week.
KYLE GETZ
Damn. So, the Jeep is- Is the Jeep like a symbol of your coming out, to you? Like, does that feel- Is that all tied together for you?
MIKE JOHNSON
I think so. It’s gotta- Like, at some level, clearly. Like, ‘cause it all- It all literally correlates, right?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
And, I really, really, really like not having a car payment, so that’s, like, one reason not to get rid of it. Like, I’m gonna just keep driving it until it dies. But yeah, I think there’s something nice and familiar about it. Like, I’ve had that rig for so long it’s, like, part of me and part of my identity, and I will be very, very sad when it dies, or I sell it, or whatever.
KYLE GETZ
Would you get another Jeep after this one?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah! Yeah. For sure.
KYLE GETZ
So it really is part of your identity.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. I think so. And I love it. Like, I was obsessed with Jeeps before I bought mine too. Like, my mom’s brother, my uncle, had a Jeep. It was a- It’s a really old Jeep, it’s like a CJ or something and, um, I got to drive it. He got really wasted and needed me to drive him home, and so I did and I was, like, driving this Jeep and had three on the tree shifting and I was like “This is fuckin’ badass and cool.” Also, it kind of sounded like it was gonna fall apart at any moment but, [Kyle chuckles] you know, it still was awesome. It wouldn’t go over, like, 55. It wasn’t geared high enough. But yeah, I loved- I was always, always excited about Jeeps, and specifically the Wrangler too. Like, again, it feels a little car racist but, like, Jeep Wrangler drivers wave at each other. Jeep Grand Cherokee drivers can fuck right off.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] Wow. So, suck on that, Grand Cherokee listeners.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] I mean, not really, obviously, but…
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] No, stand by your beliefs, Mike! Hold tight to that. Fuck you, Grand Cherokee, you’re a dumb car for idiots.
MIKE JOHNSON
Well, and also, Kyle, that Jeep, my Jeep, is like the beginning of our relationship. I was literally behind the wheel of that Jeep the first moment we met.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I hopped into your Jeep. Yours was- I mean, it’s an easy car to spot. Like- Okay, there’s also this meme about, like, someone coming to pick you up and telling you what car they’re driving and then it’s like “My gay ass looking up what a…” you know, [Mike chuckles] “…V-Dub Jetta looks like,” and I do that all the time. But I know what a Jeep looks like, you know? That’s distinctive enough that I don’t have to Google what car this is or use the little image on the, you know, on the Lyft thing to tell me what car I’m looking for. So, it’s very distinctive, so that was easy to find you.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah! Yeah. Yes. Also, I think my ex-wife was living in the same building at the time, sort of.
KYLE GETZ
[gasps] In the building I lived in?
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
Oooh, interesting. But I had no idea who she was because I- Did I ever- I don’t think I ever met her.
MIKE JOHNSON
I don’t think you did either.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. Hm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, she thought we were banging, because I posted a picture that you were in on Facebook from an event that we had gone to or whatever, and she was sure that you were who I was banging and she was real mad about it. It was hilarious.
KYLE GETZ
Everyone always assumes if you- Someone posted in discord, like, a picture of him and two other guys and he had, like, clarified, like, “No one in this picture is dating.” [both chuckle] Like, everyone always assumes, if you post a picture of two gay dudes, that they’re dating.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yep. Did we do it?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah! I think we talked about Jeep a bunch. I don’t think we figured it out though. Like, there’s definitely something gay about Jeep Wranglers specifically, and I don’t totally understand why.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. I agree, and I don’t understand why. Maybe this one’s just “It is ‘cause it is.”
KYLE GETZ
Maybe it is ‘cause it is. If you have any theories, let us know. Hit us up on Facebook or our Discord and let us know why Jeep Wranglers are kinda gay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Don’t forget to thumbs up and subscribe.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm. [Mike chuckles] Do it.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Are you excited to drive my Jeep?
KYLE GETZ
Oh, I’m nervous.
MIKE JOHNSON
Okay.
KYLE GETZ
How easy is it to break a Jeep?
MIKE JOHNSON
It’s… It’s hard to break it.
KYLE GETZ
Okay, that’s ideal, because we’ll see- We’ll see how I do.
MIKE JOHNSON
[burps] Alright, man, should we take a break?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, let’s take a break. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Let’s take a break.
[Break music plays, sung by MIKE JOHNSON]
This is the part where Mike and Kyle take a break!
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, do you have your Gayest & Straightest already, Kyle?
KYLE GETZ
I do.
MIKE JOHNSON
Should we just, like, do it then?
KYLE GETZ
Yeah, let’s do it.
MIKE JOHNSON
So, are we back?
KYLE GETZ
We’re back!
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] We’re back.
KYLE GETZ
We’re gonna do our Gayest & Straightest.
MIKE JOHNSON
We’re gonna do our Gayest & Straightest but, first, our website is gayishpodcast.com.
KYLE GETZ
We are on socials, @gayishpodcast. Check us out on Instagram.
MIKE JOHNSON
Our hotline, you can send us text messages or leave us voicemails, is 5855-Gayish. That’s 585-542-9474. Standard rates apply.
KYLE GETZ
Our email is gayishpodcast@gmail.com.
MIKE JOHNSON
And our physical mailing address is Post Office Box 19882 Seattle, Washington 98109. Hey..!
KYLE GETZ
Hey!
MIKE JOHNSON
…you dirty fuckers. See you in Houston in just a couple of days.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah! We’re so excited to be there.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
It’s gonna be a really fun show. You’re gonna enjoy it.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeaaah. Also, uh, Local Gay Bar Review! Are you ready?
KYLE GETZ
Ooo. I’m ready.
MIKE JOHNSON
Great, here we go. I’m gonna talk to you about- I can’t say this. I don’t know. I don’t know how- It’s in French.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Uh, La Champmesle? [TN: saying it like “SHOMP-mel-ay”] La Champmesle? [TN: like “SHOMP-meh-sel”] Mis-ley? Uh, it’s a- Le French word.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] “Le French word,” I love that.
MIKE JOHNSON
…In Paris. Uh, had an adorable blue neon sign. It was a tiny little bar. And here’s the thing: Europe, get your shit together. You can smoke in so many bars in Europe…
KYLE GETZ
Oh, wow.
MIKE JOHNSON
…and I hate it so much. It was my first experience in Grenoble, uh, was all smoky. And this was just, like- It just was hotboxing cigarettes. It was horrible. [Kyle chuckles] Uh, the only beer that they had was Heineken, which I hate. It’s too skunky. Uh, the lesbian behind the bar did not speak English and was very angry at us for not speaking French. Um, and then a tiny Heineken plus two waters was 15 euros. Anyway, 2 dildos. [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
How did it get- Okay, where did the 2 come from? What positive traits did it have? [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
It was not in this country, and, uh, I liked their sign. [chuckles]
KYLE GETZ
Okay. Okay, got it. Every time you do this, I learn a little bit more about the rating system that we got going on, [Mike chuckles] so that’s very helpful.
MIKE JOHNSON
“System” is a strong word.
KYLE GETZ
Syst- [chuckles] Um, do you wanna do our Gayest & Straightest?
MIKE JOHNSON
Sure, let’s do our Gayest & Straightest. The gayest thing about me this week is: I saw Lorna Luft perform last night at the Purple Room here in Palm Springs, California. She is Judy Garland’s other daughter, she’s Liza Minnelli’s sister.
KYLE GETZ
Oh.
MIKE JOHNSON
And, eh, she was fine. [Kyle chuckles] Um, and then the straightest thing about me this week was just, like, talking about Jeeps with my fraternity brother. Like-
KYLE GETZ
Yeah.
MIKE JOHNSON
It felt so butch. Totes masc.
KYLE GETZ
Yeah. So masc. My straightest is: I almost ordered an old fashioned to drink. I went out- [Mike gasps] What? [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
Just almost counts, I think.
KYLE GETZ
I- The fact that I was even considering it is very straight to me. I went to get drinks with our favorite gay priests, Joseph Peters-Mathews, and I came real close to ordering that. Instead, I got this vodka drink that was served in a mini novelty bathtub.
MIKE JOHNSON
Oh. Yeees! Did you go to Canon?
KYLE GETZ
No, I went to- I don’t know what Canon is. I went to Bait Shop.
MIKE JOHNSON
Bait Shop has bathtubs too? Anyway, it’s fine.
KYLE GETZ
Mhm.
MIKE JOHNSON
Great. Awesome!
KYLE GETZ
What’s Canon?
MIKE JOHNSON
It’s a cocktail bar on Capitol Hill.
KYLE GETZ
Oh!
MIKE JOHNSON
I think it’s straightish.
KYLE GETZ
Oh. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard of it. And we have a listener’s Gayest & Straightest…
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah we do.
KYLE GETZ
…from our voicemail.
DUSTIN [voicemail]
Hi, this is Dustin calling in from Canada with my Gayest & Straightest. So, my gayest this week is that I started the separation and divorce process with my husband of 9 years. And my straightest is: falling off a 12 foot ladder at my construction job, injuring my foot and ankle, and proceeding to tell absolutely no one.
MIKE JOHNSON
Dusti, you’re a sweetheart.
KYLE GETZ
Dustin, thanks for calling in. Sorry to hear about your divorce, and sorry to hear about your injury. I hope you’re recovering and maybe saw a doctor if you need to, because that sounds painful.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Yeah. Stupid boys, go to the doctors when you need to. Don’t try to tough it out.
KYLE GETZ
Go to doctors when you get hurt. [chuckles]
MIKE JOHNSON
The leg you save might be your own.
KYLE GETZ
[laughs] But if you want us to play your Gayest & Straightest, leave us a voicemail. Give us a call and leave us a message with your Gayest & Straightest.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yep. Do it.
KYLE GETZ
I think that’s it, right?
MIKE JOHNSON
I think that’s it. Rate, review, rubscribe, and recommend. We haven’t said the 4 Rs in a while. Um, and uh, yeah, thank you to Popeye the Sailor Man.
KYLE GETZ
Sure. Uh, thank you to Jeep for being kinda pretty gay somehow, in a way that we don’t understand.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah.
KYLE GETZ
A confusing gay.
MIKE JOHNSON
Yeah. Thank you for… helping me get laid.
KYLE GETZ
[chuckles] And thank you to our Super Gap Bridgers: Kit Oliver, Andrew Bugbee, William Bryant, Christopher M, John Crawley, Stephen Portch, Joh Stoessel, Harry Shaw, Josh Copeland, Jonathan Montañez, Waddu, Forrest Nail, Patrick Martin, James Barrow, Steve Douglas, Explosive Lasagna, Michael Cubbington, Just Jamie, Kevin Henderson, Tomas B, Timothy Saura, DustySands, AE Coleman, Chris Khachatourians, and Jerome York. Thank you for your support.
MIKE JOHNSON
Thank you for your money! [both chuckle] Um, yeah! That’s it. This has been Gayish. From the Chris Khachatourians studios, I’m Mike Johnson.
KYLE GETZ
I’m Kyle Getz. Until next week, be butch, be fabulous, be you! See ya in Houston.
MIKE JOHNSON
Meep, meep. [both chuckle]
[Outro music plays, instrumental]
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] Yeah, I do have to pee though.
KYLE GETZ
Okay.
MIKE JOHNSON
[chuckles] I’m going now.
KYLE GETZ
I’m going.
[Transcriptionist: C Dixon, CMDixonWork@gmail.com]